Monday, September 29, 2008

Good vibrations

There was a lovely moment on Saturday night, when a gay friend - who's fairly proper and not prone to disclosing anything too intimate - admitted she'd had a recent education on sex toys.
Gay girls, in South Africa at the very least, are - in my experience - rather prone to having very, very strong views on sex toys. You're either for them, or totally against. And the reason, most likely, that women are against them is that the only toy people seem to talk about is the dildo, and using this is often perceived as being anti-lesbian; or trying to emulate a straight relationship. Why, some have asked, would we want a fake penis when we don't even want the real thing?

Not a bad question, and one that I've certainly encountered a few times.

But on Saturday, my friend said a recent movie she'd seen had made her see sex toys in a different light. I think she'd actually watched Claire of the Moon (yes, I know it's old, but it was new to her) and in it, there was a debate over sex toys. The character in the film put forward the argument that sex toys were positive props in lesbian pleasure and so my friend has suddenly seen the light - hence our conversation the other night. This largely revolved around the dildo versus vibrator. My mate said she'd always equated a vibrator with a dildo, and now that she knew the difference (blame it on a lack of sex shops in SA!) she wanted to try the former with her partner. Her partner, incidentally, looked very pleased at the prospect, and I have no doubt that they will be hunting online, or in store if they dare (at the hetro-positioned Adult World we have) for a perfect vibrator that appeals to them both. Please, you can even get a vibrator that vibrates to the beat of the music on your iPod! That's when a high energy playlist is a must! :-)

My view is that as long as both partners are in agreement, experimenting is part of a healthy relationship.

This brings me to another topic, and a rather grisly one at that. Sex toys, in my view, should not be recycled across relationships. If you're involved with someone and have a tog bad full of toys, great. If you break up though, toss 'em please. They should not be the legacy of one of you. Noone really wants sloppy seconds!


YM said...

Recycling sex toys across relationships = eeew, eeew, eeeew! Gross out...

venusafrika said...

OMG the thought of inheriting not just her emotional baggage, but a bag o' toys too, is truly gag-making!