Joined at the hip

Lesbians are often guilty of the siamese twin syndrome. Being joined at the hip - and not just when in the sack! Many of us tend to take the 'best friends' thing to the extreme, blocking out any other friendships that may interfere. It's a pity.

Yes, how utterly wonderful to be with a woman who is your equal, your twin and who understands how you feel when you get your period. But how suffocating too. We need to learn to give one another space. To have outside interests and hobbies and friends. That's one area we can learn something from the straight folk. They don't merge and blend from sunrise to sunset. They separate and explore on their own and then reunite later on. We need to do more of this.

I don't speak from a know-it-all position. I speak from a place of having been too linked to my partners; to have put all of my eggs in that one basket all of the time. It felt heart wrenching to tear myself away from my significant other, but now I know that in order to thrive and to keep the relationship hot and alive, we need our space. We need to have some mystery; some sacred place we can escape to. It does not drive us further apart; it brings us closer together.